So my hormone levels when they checked them this morning were at 350...down from almost 2600 two days before. This means that the pregnancy was lost and the hormone is almost gone. I have to have one more blood test on Monday morning to make sure that it is then at zero. This news is hard but I feel like it is kind of a new beginning.
Chance and I broke up...it was just time. It got to the point that we fought all the time and the good times just were not that good anymore. He is practically one of my best friends and of course I still love him so I hope we can be friends and hang out. I just couldn't be in a relationship where I never know what mood to expect from him or if he was going to be the super loving and amazing boyfriend I know he can be or some angry person that seems to not realize that he loves me at all. Its hard not having him and the miscarrage at the same time but I will pull through and make it better than before. I love taking care of people but it was getting to the point that I had to do so many things for him that I forgot about taking care of myself.
So 2009 is the year of ME. I will do things for my benefit and not for what others want or will think of my choice. I put up that picture of me from my birthday this year because I was not very happy at that celebration and I am determined to be the 'Me' I want by my 21st birthday.
Chance and I broke up...it was just time. It got to the point that we fought all the time and the good times just were not that good anymore. He is practically one of my best friends and of course I still love him so I hope we can be friends and hang out. I just couldn't be in a relationship where I never know what mood to expect from him or if he was going to be the super loving and amazing boyfriend I know he can be or some angry person that seems to not realize that he loves me at all. Its hard not having him and the miscarrage at the same time but I will pull through and make it better than before. I love taking care of people but it was getting to the point that I had to do so many things for him that I forgot about taking care of myself.
So 2009 is the year of ME. I will do things for my benefit and not for what others want or will think of my choice. I put up that picture of me from my birthday this year because I was not very happy at that celebration and I am determined to be the 'Me' I want by my 21st birthday.
Dear My Love,
ReplyDeleteU R AMAZING!!!! I'm glad to hear your positive attitude and also to hear that you have realized you need to stop bending over backwards for those who aren't willing to do the same for you!! You deserve only the BEST!!!
smooches hooches!