Yay! No Work

I finally have a day off from work. I know four days in a row is not that much to you full timers out there but for me it was hell! I just sat there for eight hours a day and had bascially nothing to do but read books and surf the web. I made it through though.

So yesterday was a pretty good day...I saw my favorite teacher at the gym and he actually was flirting with me. Kinda gross because he is old but still somewhat flattering. THEN... I got to work and one of our guests asked me if I was new but i've been there for 6 months now. He said that he was glad it was me there instead of Isaac because I was pretty. AW! So that kind of made my day. I've been going to the gym the past 3 days in a row and I am heading there in a little bit too.

Then it is shower and off to DeWitt for a massage that my mommy bought for me and hanging out with Tay Tay and probably Amanda. Now, if Amanda can just do my highlights tonight it'd be amazing...hint hint. Haha.

Over the weekend we had a mini girls night with Amanda, Kelli, Ashley and me. We went to Lyon's Tap and drank a little bit and it was good to be with the girls again. Then the next morning I had to go to work and check rooms. I ended up scrubbing 17 toilets and doing a bunch of other shit that was not done. Not exactly a wonderful day to start off my four day stretch.

Ugg Bored

So I have been sitting here at work since 2PM today and I am bored out of my mind. I just finished a really good book...yes a whole book in the time that I have been here. It's that bad. It was called 'One for the Money' It was a book about a woman who is short on money and decides to become a bounty hunter for some cash. She gets into some trouble and ends up siding with the enemy. It was a good one. Anyway...I feel pretty good I've been going to the gym for the last couple days and eating right so lets see those pounds fall off!!!!

So I just talked to Chance and he said he just needs a few days to get his head together. I mean really...just say it all...I know you want to think about it but atleast tell me you are thinking instead of treating me like I am worthless to you. Some things just do not add up. There was this whole thing with this slut on facebook. We will call her Betty. Well she was writing him and saying all this shit about how I was ugly and that he needs better. Anyway...he said he doesn't really even know her and they are not even really friends and he doesn't even have her phone number. But the second we break up he writes Betty an email on facebook wanting to talk to her and then a day or so later calls her. Where did this number come from if he didn't already have it?!?! It is not on her facebook so I assume he already had it. Why lie to me? Shit I hate all this...I love him I really do I just cannot deal with him. He does not seem to care about my feelings but that is just him...He doesn't seem to care about anyones feelings. I am sure he does but just does not show it. Well I dunno...we are supposed to talk tonight but his phone died while he was calling me back earlier so we shall see if that happens.

For the Women

WOMEN HAVE STRENGTHS THAT AMAZE MEN. THEY BEAR HARDSHIPS AND THEY CARRY BURDENS, BUT THEY HOLD HAPPINESS, LOVE AND JOY. THEY SMILE WHEN THEY WANT TO SCREAM. THEY SING WHEN THE WANT TO CRY. THEY CRY WHEN THEY ARE HAPPY AND LAUGH WHEN THEY ARE NERVOUS. THEY FIGHT FOR WHAT THEY BELEIVE IN. THEY STAND UP TO INJUSTICE. THEY DONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER WHEN THEY BELIEVE THERE IS A BETTER SOLUTION. THEY GO WITHOUT SO THEIR FAMILY CAN HAVE. THEY GO TO THE DOCTOR WITH A FRIGHTENED FRIEND. THEY LOVE UNDCONDITIONALLY. THEY CRY WHEN THEIR CHILDREN EXCEL AND CHEER WHEN THEIR FRIENDS GET AWARDS. THEY ARE HAPPY WHEN THEY HEAR ABOUT A BIRTH OR A WEDDING. THEIR HEARTS BREAK WHEN A FRIEND DIES. THEY GREIVE AT THE LOSS OF A FAMILY MEMBER, YET THEY ARE STRONG WHEN THEY THINK THERE IS NO STRENGTH LEFT. THEY KNOW THAT A HUG AND A KISS CAN HEAL A BROKEN HEART. WOMEN COME IN ALL SHAPES, SIZES AND COLORS. THEY WILL DRIVE, FLY, WALK, RUN OR EMAIL YOU TO SHOW HOW MUCH THEY CARE ABOUT YOU. THE HEART OF A WOMAN IS WHAT MAKES THE WORLD KEEP TURNING. THEY BRING JOY, HOPE AND LOVE. THEY HAVE COMPASSION AND IDEALS. THEY GIVE MORAL SUPPORT TO THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. WOMEN HAVE VITAL THINGS TO SAY AND EVERYTHING TO GIVE

HOWEVER , IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THEY FORGOT THEIR WORTH.

(I found this from an old blog from back in H.S. and thought it was sooo true I'd add it to this one.) Love you all!

Starting Over

So my hormone levels when they checked them this morning were at 350...down from almost 2600 two days before. This means that the pregnancy was lost and the hormone is almost gone. I have to have one more blood test on Monday morning to make sure that it is then at zero. This news is hard but I feel like it is kind of a new beginning.
Chance and I broke up...it was just time. It got to the point that we fought all the time and the good times just were not that good anymore. He is practically one of my best friends and of course I still love him so I hope we can be friends and hang out. I just couldn't be in a relationship where I never know what mood to expect from him or if he was going to be the super loving and amazing boyfriend I know he can be or some angry person that seems to not realize that he loves me at all. Its hard not having him and the miscarrage at the same time but I will pull through and make it better than before. I love taking care of people but it was getting to the point that I had to do so many things for him that I forgot about taking care of myself.
So 2009 is the year of ME. I will do things for my benefit and not for what others want or will think of my choice. I put up that picture of me from my birthday this year because I was not very happy at that celebration and I am determined to be the 'Me' I want by my 21st birthday.

Update

So today I had to get up early for blood work...7:00...really early for me. It was to check my hormone levels to see what is going on. If the hormone levels are up from two days ago then that means I most likely have a pregnancy in the tubes; which will have to be removed. If the numbers are down from 2,560 from Wednesday then that means the baby is gone. Either way it is not going to be good news but I am ready to know what is for sure going on.

After my blood work I stopped by my work to talk to my boss and tell them what was going on (I missed work to go to the doctor.) I love my job and the people I work with they are so awesome and supportive it is amazing. Plus, I got free breakfast too! You can't beat free breakfast. So here it is 9:10AM and I am not usually up for another 10 minutes so I do not know what to do with myself.

I am hanging out with Amanda tonight so hopefully we will find something eventful to do. Oh and I love ABDC (America's Best Dance Crew) it is awesome! So far I really like a couple crews but not sure who is my fave yet. I like Strikers All Stars, and Qwest Crew.

Time for Change

So a lot of things have been going on lately that some of you know about and others do not. I found out a couple weeks ago that I was pregnant. I was scared at first but the thought of it started to grow on me. I started to get used to the idea and so did my family and some select friends. Lately, I have been having some menstration type things for the past five days and soon realized that I have most likely miscarried.

It is pretty hard to realize but then again it seems somewhat like a tiny sense of relief. I no longer have to be the instant adult and take care of a life in addition to my own. It will be hard to move on and realize that I no longer am a mommy to be but I think everything happens for a reason and something in me just knew I was not ready for that big step yet. I am sooo proud of my sister and others who have gone down the pregnancy road at a early age and did it and they are being great mothers. It was just not my time. So now I move on and discover new things and challenges in my life to go through.

I was really greatful that my mother came to my appointment with me since Chance was out of town with his mother. She was there every step of the way and we had Lupper (Lunch/Dinner) together at TGI Fridays. I have realized I am at my heaviest I have ever been so it is now time to do that New Years turn around and get back to a weight that I am happy with. I was okay with the weight gain for the baby but now that there will be no baby at the end of the tunnel; I am determined to be healthy and be back to what I used to be.

Anyway...I love to hear from you guys who read this...who knows who all reads this...but please leave me comments or any questions that you might have.

Cardinals V. Steelers for the Super Bowl 2009

So recently at work some things have been changing. The last couple of days I have been trained to check rooms in addition to my job as Front Desk Clerk. I basically am in charge of the housekeeping department and go into the rooms after they have been cleaned to make sure they are up to our standards. It is a lot of tedious things like the soap has to be at this angle and the towel has to be folded this way but it is actually a lot of fun. If you know me at all you know I love tedious tasks. So that will get me more hours at work! Whoo hoo!

After work Chance and I went to my parents house to watch the championship games for the teams that will go to the SuperBowl. Chance is a big Cards fan so we were really glad when they won their divison and going to the bowl! I also enjoyed taking care of baby Jack (my Nephew) most of the day. I changed his diaper, fed him, and just cuddled him :) It was a great time. Mom made pot roast and dad made cookies! YUM!

Biggie is dead?!

Emily and her mini wine bottles!

Amanda did my hair! I can never get it so volumized by myself :(

Dinner with the girls!

So it has been an eventful past couple of days for sure! I started school this week and we of course did NOT get any days off for the terrible weather like everyone else.

On friday Amanda and Emily Brinks came down and we went to dinner and a movie. It was awesome! I had to work for a couple hours before so Em came and entertained me while I "worked" and then we went back to my place so I could get ready. We ate at TGI Friday's because I get 10% off for working at my hotel. The food was good but the service was not very good. Well, our service was good but the other waitress was a huge bitch! We couldn't believe it!

After dinner we went to walmart and to get snacks and went to see Notorius BIG. Emily had no idea Biggie was dead so it was a big suprise to her...haha! It was the first time I was in fear for my life in a theatre. A bunch of guys kept trying to start a fist fight so we had to leave and missed the end of the movie. Then the girls stayed at my apt.

Baking and hoping for a snow day!

So my roommate and I decided we needed to bake tonight since it has been sooo crappy outside! We made Chocolate Chip cookies and Ginger Cake. Both are amazing...we haven't cooked the cookies yet but the dough speaks for itself! Above is the cookies I made the other day.

I started classes today and it was not all that tough. My Economics teacher tells the dumbest jokes and thinks they are hilarious and my Ethics teacher acts like a teenage girl who likes to gossip. I am not sure how that will go...She started the class by saying," Wow..ethics huh? Well I will warn you that I am not that great at this but that is why I am glad I have to teach it!"....ummmmmmmmm PLEASE SNOW DAY TOMORROW!

So I went shopping today and got new tourquise and tan pillows for the couch, some cute signs for the walls, and a new side table! Lots of great finds!

Quiz about the new year from Ash

1) How did you bring in the New Year? Wow...at a hick bar with Kim, Dan, Amanda, etc...
2) How was your valentines day? Shitty...i was basically single and didn't know whom or what I wanted.
3) Were you in schoo​l anyti​me this year?oh god yes...all year and the summer
4) How did you earn your money​?​ working at Jimmy Johns until I cut off my finger tip and then I worked at Days Inn and now Sleep Inn
5) Did you have to go to the hospi​tal?​yup...when I cut my finger really bad and when Jack was born.
6) Did you have any encou​nters​ with the polic​e?​ nope i don't think so
7) Would​ you reliv​e 2008 over and over again​?​nah...i'll move on
8) What did you purch​ase that was over $​1000?​ nothing... :( sadness
9) Did you know anybo​dy who got marri​ed?​yes...the devil got married, my sister Jenn, and my friend Jess
10) Did you know anybo​dy who passe​d away?​ no I do not think so
11) Did you know anyon​e who had a baby?​ Yup my sister
12) Did you move anywh​ere?​ to my own apt in Davenport
13) What conce​rts/​shows​ did you go to? Kanye West and Rhianna
14) Are you regis​tered​ to vote?​ nope...sorry Ash but atleast I didn't ruin it for Obama
15) Do you still​ have the same job as you did in 2007? nope...moving on up
​16) Has anyon​e betra​yed you in 2008?​ No
17) Where​ do you live now? Davenport
18) Descr​ibe your birth​day?​had some friends over...went to dinner and drank
19) What'​s one thing​ you thoug​ht you'​d never​ do but did in 2008?​ no idea
20) What has been your favor​ite momen​t?​being with Chance and making new friends
21) What'​s somet​hing you learn​ed about​ yours​elf? I CAN do it by myself
22) Any new addit​ions to your famil​y? Jack
23) What was your best month​?​ the summer in general
24) Were you in a relat​ionsh​ip this year?​ Yup!
25) What music​ will you remem​ber 2008 by? no idea
26) Who has been your best drink​ing buddy​/​buddi​es?um...all my friends are good at that
27) New frien​d? work people and new people from school
28) Would​ you say you'​ve chang​ed since​ the begin​ning of this year?​yep
29) Do you think​ 2009 will be bette​r or worse​?​ Definitely better and bigger

Time for Education

Ugg....It is time again to go back to school. After enjoying a more than a month long break I will be forced to wake up early and learn again. Over this break I've enjoyed some good times however.

1) A trip to Milwaukee to visit my besties Amanda and Meghan at Meg's hair school and getting an up-do done at Aveda.

2) Christmas with the family and $135 perfume...oh yes it's worth it.

3) Sleep over with my little sister at my apartment for the first time...can we say I-Hop and cards with randoms?!

4) New Years Eve party at my place with some friends and Chance's sis and brother-in-law. It was a lot of fun...we went bowling and played cards and drank at my apartment.

5) Lots of baking...cookies, cakes, spinach dip, muffins, etc. Most of it homemade and lots of dinners for friends. I love doing things in the kitchen :)

6) My friend Kelli turned 21 and had a killer party! I couldn't stay too long due to work but it was fun.

I have also taken up a little bit of reading over the break. I used to read all the time back in the day and felt it was time to start again. I finished the book 'I've heard that song before' by Mary Higgins Clark and it was great! I also just read 'Something Borrowed'...I can't remember who it is by was great too. I just started the second book in that series called 'Something Blue.'

"Sicker than a Dog"

So...the word of the day is sneeze. What a weird word..whoever thought of that was very smart. I've been super sick all day long. Sneezing, coughing, runny nose, all the extras. Whooo hooo!!! Plus, I have nothing for a cold at the apt so I will have to tough it out for a little while. The bonus: I got off work a little early and came home to some tissues that do not tear apart my nose.

Some things I've been thinking about lately...why do women put so much more into relationships than men do? (Stereotypically of course...) All that I have seen proves this correct though. I do not know how many friends I have had cry on my shoulder about a boy breaking up with them or worse cheating. Why do we (women) have to be so emotionally attached to men. We needs to realize that we can do this on our own too. I am glad that I have finally found the guy that wants me as much as I want him. :)

"We've only just begun..."

Hello to anyone out there that is reading this. I decided that it would be a good idea to start a blog while I am bored at work...so here it goes. My name is Jessica and I am 20 years old living in Iowa. I work and go to school so my life can get pretty hectic at times. I have great friends and fun when we have time. I also have a loving boyfriend named Chance but more on all those things later.